The Winter Fire
by Kouzuka Haruomi
Summary: Hatori slammed the door at Shigure's face when the guy attempted on giving him Valentine chocolates. How does the normally self composed happygolucky guy react to it? shounen aiwaff [HatoriShigure]


The Winter Fire  
  
*does the disclaimer dance* I dun own these biseinen... Strictly owned by Natsuki Takaya. I only borrowed them for fun without permission even.. Gyahahaha!!!! *returns them* but they're in one piece.. no harm done... so enjoy the fruits!  
  
---  
  
  
"Baka!"  
  
The door was slammed shut to his face. Shigure blinked and took a sharp sting of breath. A feeling like as if a thousand knives through his heart was felt. Hatori blinked and frowned from the other side of the door. A pang of guilt swam around surfacing to his consciousness. What was it that Shigure had said that had him swinging the door to a shut? Ah, it was an ultra cheery "Ha-san! I miss you!" and the fact that his gesture was more than a raise of a hand in greeting didn't help. Why did it gave him such and impact?  
  
He reached out to the door and opened it swiftly revealing a still standing Shigure still standing there with his head hung low. His handsome boyish features hidden behind long bangs, Hatori frowned. There was something disturbing about the image displayed in front of him. His eyes widened when he realized that Shigure's body was actually trembling together with occasional sobs.   
  
How could he be so mean? Just because he was treated mean in the past by someone else doesn't mean that he had the right to do so to other people, and out of all people, Shigure...   
  
It was not as if they wanted to be born this way. And as chirpy as Shigure might seem often, he was actually trying hard to overcome the fact that he, in this life would never be able to seek comfort in the hands of a female companion. And it could be a painful experience especially on cold winter nights like this. The man cursed with the dog spirit was a mere human anyway; with natural instinct to seek comfort and security in order to survive.  
  
"Shigure," Hatori uttered, his voice cracked from being too silent too long as he reached out to touch the men's shaky shoulder. "I'm sor..." Hatori's apology was hung in mid tone when Shigure swatted his hand that was about to touch his shoulder. "'Gure..." he uttered almost surprisingly using Ayame's pet name for Shigure. Shigure had never acted like this before. Ayame he could understand, but Shigure...  
  
"Yes, I'm filthy. Yes, I'm cursed. Yes, I am an idiot," he paused and raised his tearstained face. Hatori nearly gaped for air. He couldn't pinpoint any time in his life that he saw Shigure actually crying because of that pained look in his eyes. "Do you think that I want to be like this?" he pointed to himself, tears streaming down. Pure tears, not those fake tear stream that he always uses to crack people up.  
  
The degree of his voice dropped. "I don't want to be cursed," he sounded almost like squeaking. "I don't want to... and I don't want to be alone," he continued. His hands went up to clutch his chest. "It hurts... you know that? It really hurts when everyone is happy having their partners together with them, cuddling and hugging and you, watching them... alone... by the window... hiding..." he uttered. It might look as if Shigure was asking for sympathy. But going back to the days when they were young, it was always Shigure who saved their ass form Ayame's dangerous wits. Has he always been this depressed inside. And now it exploded because of him.   
  
Then Shigure laughed. "Why am I telling this to you," he wiped away the tears and popped up a smile, good enough to fool other people but Hatori knew. It was a fake one. Hatori blinked. He didn't know what to do. He let out a big sigh and frowned. "I'll go make myself busy. See you at dinner," Shigure trotted away, back into his old self in 10 seconds.  
  
  
--  
  
Hatori walked into the dining room in the inner house. Akito was there, so was Shigure. "Where's Momiji?" Hatori asked as he entered. Normally the young rabbit spirit would be around when Shigure comes over to visit. "He's off early," Akito uttered. His frail voice almost echoed through the dining hall sending shudders to Hatori's spine. He was not about to tell Hatori he had sent Momiji off early so Hatori and Shigure could settle things up for themselves.  
  
"Shigure just came in, I'm done..." Akito looked up. "And I feel so~~~~ sleepy," he yawned for effect. His grace movement often mesmerized them. "I'll leave you two... alone..." he uttered softly as he graced himself out of the room. After a moment of brief silence, both Hatori and Shigure looked at each other.   
  
"Gure..." Hatori started. He sat next to Shigure's still form. Shigure decided to stay quiet. He didn't know what to say to the man anyway after acting like a total idiot in front of him. Hatori raised a hand and placed it on Shigure's shoulder hesitantly, scared that the guy would swat it away again.  
  
"I'm sorry," he uttered, looking at Shigure's closed eyes. The lids were trapping tears in between them making Shigure's dark lashes glistened in the dimmed lighted room. Shigure looked away from the floor and shook his head. "It's not your fault. It's just me... the weather, the cold, doesn't it just makes you crazy sometimes?" Shigure opened his eyes faking another smile. It would fool Hatori this time but the way Shigure turned away as quickly as he did, made Hatori suspicious. "Don't" he uttered softly, holding Shigure's shoulder tighter. ""Ha-san... it hurts," Shigure said almost tear chokingly. Hatori kept his silence and reached further to pull Shigure nearer to his body. The yukata he wore made him a natural warmer which tempted Shigure to just rest there and do nothing but just lay in Hatori's warm embrace. Warm... so warm...  
  
They sat there for a while, not moving and not speaking. Silently wishing for the time to stop while they sat comforatably together there. "...'Gure...?" Hatori called. "Em?" Shigure didn't bother to look up. "Betsuni..." Hatori uttered and breathed in Shigure's hair. It smelled of... candy...?   
  
"Why do you smell like candy?" Hatori asked. Shigure looked up and smiled. "It's nice isn't it? Does anything else matters?" He answered wittily. He tore his body off Hatori reluctantly and resumed on his dinner.   
  
They finished their meal in silence. Shigure was first to get up. "... 'Gure?" Hatori called. Shigure stopped at the door. "You going back?" Hatori asked. Shigure shrugged. "The snow storm's still dangerous. Why don't you spend the night here?" Hatori asked. Shigure blinked. "It'll just be like old times..." Hatori uttered. Shigure smiled remembering their younger days. Hatori finished his own share of food and left it to be cleaned by the servants. He finished his tea and stood up walking to way to Shigure, who was still standing near the door.   
  
Hatori reached down then took the large hands. Shigure looked up till he saw Hatori kissed his palm. "It's really cold," he blew into the frozen palms. Shigure nodded and followed as Hatori brought him with his guiding hand gently towards his part of the house.   
  
Shigure started to smile. He wasnt sure if it was love but the feeling was warm and comfortable. He felt safe and warm and that was the only thing he needed in the cold winter season...  
  
Owatta...  
  
20/02/02 - 5.30 am... yeah i got class in 3 1/2 hours time n i'm still up, not asleep typin away. Hohohoho... Sorry if it was weird but i guess my brain wasn't functioning well even though it's awake.   
  
Thanks to you people who reviewed my fics... :D sankyuu... luv u guys... 


End file.
